everyday is exactly the same

sounds familiar?

yea, it’s actually a title to my fave song

it expressed every lil bit of emotion

it projected my own voice

it spoke out my inner feeling

the exclusive wordin n details gives a sneek peak into my soul

what worst could’ve become into my life?

im grateful for every single torture I borne n still bear

in fact i am not me today if it’s not 4 all d experiences

during my remisniscence

one thing n only one slid into my mind

others had worst…mine might just b a pea in a bowl

therefore,

here Iam

being thankful

to those people / group of people

who’d made my life miserable

intoxicated

suffocated

n life changing

its refreshing. to go thru everyday

in exactly

the same way

ironic part deux (III)

sorry for the delay.

me being in a state of busy-ness, and confusion isn’t helping.

well, let’s just continue with our recollection from the last entry. I’ve receive e-mails bout this guy from my past. My dear friends….he’s not GAY!!!

okay, where was I? Oh yes, he was askin bout his ring.

well, here goes. the truth is: when i was going steady with Azim, we made a deal (on paper in fact!), that I would not wear the damn ring as long as we’re together. Thats exactly where it is. Still in my drawer, in my office. In the jewellery box. Nicely tugged in for eternity.

But, how the heck am I suppose to tell this -handsome-rugged-yet-still-single guy before me that I still kept his ring in my drawer? Will he ask for me to return it? I mean, c’mon! HE’s rich now, he could afford to buy a new BIGGER ring for the next woman to come into his life. For the RIGHT. ONE.

But then again, what if I told him that I’d threw it off? Or pawned it? Or lost it? Would he thought that I am such a bitch he actually dated? WHAAA -??!!! Seriously, that made my head spin!

He probably saw me grimacing at myself. My face show it all. I’m not good in hiding what I feel. It suxs. I was thinking so hard. It made my brain electrocuted.

R     : Just tell me the truth. I won’t get mad.

Here’s the truth about the truth. IT HURTS. So, we lie.

ME  : (sighin softly) I think I lost it.

R    : (stared at me with his poker face again. Slowly smile) IT’s okay. Never thought you might keep it anyway.

ME  : (BUT I DID!!!) Hmm. I’m such a bad person, huh?

I started to turn n leave the room. But he grabbed me….

ironic ‘08 part deux (II)

OMG!! Nvr thought this blog cld b such a hit about me n R???

guess these ppl really indulge in scandals!!!! shame on u!!

since d last entry ppl bugged me to continue. i’ve been procrastinatin the continuation. x that i’ve forgotten the fateful event, it’s just that i’ve felt uncomfortable tellin the world what a badass bi-yatch I am.

Anyway, there r few things i need to make clear about my history with R. Here goes:

1. we knew each other thru my best friend in hi-school.
2. we gt serious after SPM.
3. we cont our r/ship til after i gt into ‘U’.
4. yes, he proposed to me….b4 I broke up with Him.

There. I answered MOST of ur questions. Satisfied? Haha…made u guys ticked lil bit there, didn’t I?

Well, where did I left u guys wonderin? Oh yeah…he invited me in. Did I accept his offer?

Frankly, I was still beyond bliss after our last confrontation where he left me in confusion. I was shaking with angst waitin to explode. He gt the guts to speak to me with such an ease and in a graceful way a vampire would to lure u into their lair!!

The house. The one where I parked my car unconsciously. It is his parents’ house. He was staying elsewhere. The parents were elsewhere also. He was just stopping by to drop his sister along the way. This is as much as I got frm him. Outside of his house. At the gate, to be precise.

The minute he popped the invitation again, I was utterly afraid. My heart was pounding. Really-really fast. My body was moving thru the gate. But my mind was screaming what the f*** r u doing??? get outta there nowww! idiot!!!

I stopped. Turned around and said it loud n clear. “This is a mistake. I shouldn’t. Really. Your parents not here.”

He just stared at me with his poker face n said: “It’s fine. W is here. (his sis) B’sides, I need to show you somethin.”

ironic 08 part deux

hah! i noe what u all think…

what the heck is wrong with this gal???

well…it all started with a simple mind boggling stupidy. and ere how it goes:

 

i slept late last nite re-reading edward’s quote( courtesy of ‘NEW MOON’) , gosh! i wonder how i’m gnna live to have that kinda guy loving u for eternity? it’s just wow!!! so i slept hoping to dream that non-existence guy last nite…..

Only to wake up late two hours!!!! I got up, rushed for a brushing my teeth, rushed for taking a shower, rushed for putting on my clothes, make-up and etc. as soon as i got in the car, I step on the accelerator and sped along the road to Shah Alam. Only to just made it in time for my case. Phew!!

The bad thing bout coming late to court in S. Alam, was. If you reached the court after eight, the chance of you getting a parking slot is close to zero! that includes illegal parking along the sidewalk pavement.

So, I went in to look for a space here and there at the residential area just opposite the court compound. relieved to find at least a space behind a tiny car just outside a JKR residence. Once outside I got out, took my files, put on my jacket and then my eyes darted to the road sign. Oh crap! I stood still. But a honk broke my dazed and I quickly ran in my heels to cross the road headin to court.

Once inside the court, I strated off with my case without give a second thought on what just happened. That’s me. Work overcome my worries sumtime.

After that, was a different story.

I walked along the road after shouting my g’byes to my friends. Walking slowly, digging in my bag for my keys jumbled with other keys, I didn’t realized I was walking in the middle of the road. I was shocked when a soft honk of a big car, coming behind me. I startled, and accelerate my step to the side. The car slowed, and the heavy tinted windows slid down.

Guy  :  hey, funny seeing you ‘ere.(smiling dashingly)

Me   : (frowning like an idiot) hah? well…hi.(blushing like mad)

Guy  : you’re going sumwhere? I can give u a lift…(waitin for my answer)

Me    : Erm…(frantically looking for my keys in my bag, n pretend to grab sumthin)…it’s ok. I found my keys!

Guy   : (muka pelik, probbly coz i didn’t answer his question?) Owh….kay. You going home?

Me    : (suddenly stopped my walk. Realizing I’ve reached my car) Hmm. My car.

(the car suddenly stopped)

Me    : Erm…what are doing? Are you stalking me?

Guy   : Er…nope. (pointing to the house where my car parked) I’m going home.

Me     : Hah! I noe thattttt…(smiling sheepishly. if my bag were big enough, I’d stuffed my whole head in it!)

What do u know? It’s that guy again. R.

Amazingly superb in his Mercedes and oh, he was dressed casually today. I mean no full suit with a red tie (thank GOD! Coz I might drop dead rite there to c his red tie again!) He was dressed in a black shirt, his sleeves were folded up to his elbow, and a faded cool jeans. His hair was all ruffled, but in a cool way. I can smell his spicy aftershave….OMG he smells so goooddd...stop it!!

He took off his sunglasses and grinned widely. My heart fluttered wildly. But suddenly a girl got out from his passenger seat. Beautiful mind you! She glared at me, and with one nod to R she went to open the huge gate and went inside without a word.

R  : U probbly remember her. My sis.

Me : Oh. She’d grown! (of coz lah u idiot!!! it’s been thirteen years!) hahaha…

R  : wanna come in?

What do u think happened? Stay tune for the next episode….tonite…hahaha…

 

csiiiii!!!!!

whoa! i just so happened to be watching an episode of CSI : NY today…n oh boy! It was interesting.

u see, im not estatic bout watching csi francise. I was at first, but after three branch i became a sore watcher.

but today was an episode where an irish gang took matter into their hand and broke into the crime lab, while faking gas leak. prior to that the handsome detective, Flack, had made a big bust on their cocaine. the chunks were shipped into the crime lab for custody of the crime evidence.

n i just love Mac (Gary Sinise) brilliant character. He noticed firsthand that it wasn’t a typical gas leak. these gang made it seems so to get the whole building vacated. it was cleverly planned that not even a single cop even think that was a hoist!!! they even planted a special transmitter to jammed the communication signals. Unfortunately these csi geeks gt thru that by sending messages thru corpse!

Mac, together with his sidekick, Stella(the dark haired woman) and the black guy teamed up to process the evidence in their lab while avoiding gettin shot. it was incredible!!! to make it more interesting these irish gang were using one of a kind bullet that can pierce thru metal and safe.

they tried to shoot the safe open and get their baggage out and bounce. Mac was too smart for them. he set up a trap and planned out a strategy for his team to stopped their runaway.

In the end the bad guys lose, and the good guys left the building alive….haha, hw i wish it’s that simple in real life.

ironic ‘08

recently i met a guy.

a guy from my past who’d help me realized that I’m such a bitch. haha…somehow it made me felt like so relieved. GAWD! Wish I could describe that feeling here for you guys, but it’s impossible.

The irony was that I was just discussing with azim last nite while we were resting. We giggled just remembering how in-profficient our way of love was. each of us have our own admirers and crushes but in the end we ended up with each other! how about that? what a small circle we lived in.

Well, I remembered the meeting, and it goes like this:

GUY    : hey, are you by any chance be….JUITA?

ME    : (turning slowly and with a poker face, answered) Who’s asking?

GUY    : You are JUITA! Hey, it’s me, R.

ME    : (grilling my cramped mind to remember) ahhhh…hi. How are you? (giving him my most dashing smile)

GUY    : I’m fine. Fine. How bout you?

ME   : Oh…yea, I guess I’m….fine too. (scratching my head)

breaking up is hard to do….

the thing about aving a serious relationship is that, when u broke up…it stick to ur heart like a fossil and the memories just wouldn’t go away.

yea, sure, you’ll find yourself moving on…eventually. But it sure takes a looooonnnnggg time. it hurts. it’s painful. it’s heartbreakingly aching.

but after a few years, you tend to forget. and reminiscent d good and bad memories. ahhh…

and then when you found sumone who actually made you forget, and be happy, you’ll move on easily….

cOntInUaTION….

We had taken things for granted.

A lot. You might not realize it. But we do it everyday. Every hour. Every second.

Can u imagine not taking things for granted? Yes. I can only imagine it. But not practicing it.

Money.

Sports.

Movies.

Exams.

Family.

All these are part of the things that we take for granted everyday.

Me for instance, take a lot of things for granted. Work for instance: When I go for work, I’m certain I’ll get my salary every month. My clerks will do my works for me. My collegue will cover for me when I’m sick. My case will be smooth-flowing everytime I go to court.  It’s like a happy-happy ambience everytime you are working.

When i go home: I’ll find dinner will ready for us to eat. My Mom n Dad will be there sitting waitin for me to listen to my news of the day. My husband will be coming home and give me a hug. And then we’ll have dinner together happily and joyously.

When we watch the soccer match: (well, since my husband are a big fan of MAN UTD) He’ll put on his favourite jersey and sit in front of our tv, swearing, jumping and scolding the players, as well as the referree having so much faith in all those players. He’s so sure his favourite team will win the match without a single doubt.

Voting time: we’ve seen so many parties and politicians being so certain and taking things for granted that they will win.

Playing the rpg game and taking for granted you’ll win the game easily by using the cheats.

Meeting your boyfriend and taking for granted he’ll pay for everything.

Watching anime, and knowing the heroine will always ended up with the cutest hero in the story.

Hanging out with your friends knowing they’ll listen and support you stories. Always be on your side.

Poking and adding a friend in your facebook, certain that you’ll be poked back and added as a friend.

 

Yup…taking things for granted is like a habit that died hard. But things were never that simple. Take my life for example. I took for granted that I will be living happily with my spouse. Just the two of us. Together. Doing nothing. Just having fun. Paying ps2 games. PC games. Hanging out with friends and family. Staring at each other. Doing Nuthing. (Yup! I love doing that lately)…….aaahhhhh…how relaxing.

except it didn’t occur to me that we need to have children to complete the whole family pic.

Children? You mean like lil babies? tumbling out of me? Running around by the time they are one? Shitting whenever they want? That children?

My sis have been poking me since last two years…she wants to see babies! New one. From another person, not her. She’d retired by the way. I guess five is enough! Haha. Me?

Well, here’s the catch. I love shildren. Been taking care of them since 12 yrs old. All eleven of them. Except for the last one. Go to school. Feed the babies. Back from school. Lullaby them to sleep. Go to ngaji. Clean them up. Back from ngaji, play with them.

Unconsciously. I realized I took for granted that children are great. But they are not coming out of me. Ever! I’m happy with the way I am right now. Taking for granted that my family is okay with it. Taking for granted that my hubby is okay with it. Taking for granted that my friends is okay with it.

I mean, I got so used of making excuses for not making them. I’m HaPpYyYyy you guys!

Apparently, I also realized that I’ve to make one eventually.

So, guys…let’s say this together now:

DO NOT TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED!!!!

 

 

%#@@*&^%

i don’t get why people take for granted certain things in life.

moi?

well…frankly saying, i do take things for granted everyday.

like what?

hmmm….practically everything!

shame on me?

huh! shame on all of us. shame on all the people living in this world.

wuzzup with me?

im just pissed like hell right now.

why? THEN U SHOULD READ ON…..NEXT POST PLEASESEEEE….

i hate it when he was away. ( saya kene pi outstation nxt week)

i hate it more when he didn’t have time to call me. ( saya kene abiskan projek by end of this week)

i hate it when he thought i was okay. (awak sure okay kan biler saya takde?)

i hate it when he was sick.(…..akit perot sesangat nih….)

i hate it when i was worried about him and became angry for not being able to help im out.(saya kat hospital nih…warded..)

i hate it when he pissed me off by saying things i hate to hear!(i’m gonna be late…nak lepak ngan kengkawan…)

i hate it when he sleeps while we were dating. ( zzzzzzzzz….ha? pe awak cakap?…zzzz)

i hate it when he’s swearing at the ps2 game loudly while im trying to sleep! (f****lah…kayu betul!!!!)

i hate it when he refused to exercise. (takpe…saya tak gemukkk….)

i hate it when he’s making excuses for not exercising! (….lagipon saya takde maselahhhhh…)

I HATE IT THAT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

    BOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!