breaking up is hard to do….
the thing about aving a serious relationship is that, when u broke up…it stick to ur heart like a fossil and the memories just wouldn’t go away.
yea, sure, you’ll find yourself moving on…eventually. But it sure takes a looooonnnnggg time. it hurts. it’s painful. it’s heartbreakingly aching.
but after a few years, you tend to forget. and reminiscent d good and bad memories. ahhh…
and then when you found sumone who actually made you forget, and be happy, you’ll move on easily….
it’s so hard to accept when people kept saying you made a mistake when it didn’t work out. but for me…it wasn’t a mistake. sure, I have to admit when you break up you kept thinking you’d chosen the wrong person. However, come to think of it, it was meant to be. I’m glad I chose those guys. They actually taught me to grow up. Along the way, they made me more matured.
I have to be frank. My first love wasn’t that fun. In fact, i thought it was a puppy love. Just for the sake of it you know. Sure I felt all the love bubbling inside me whenever HE called, and when we were dating. All along, I thought…is he the ONE? C’mon, I was so green back then!
IT didn’t take long, I had another fling. While with HIM. And then, we broke up because I’d another fling with another guy. In between that, I rekindled with HIM again, only to break up again after I’d another fling with another guy.
OMG! I was such a Bi-yatch!!! My motto was to have a spare before you break up!!
But to be fair, the flings taught me a lot. Every fling I went thru had their own probs and issues. And I went thru each and every one of them painfully. It made me tougher, and stronger. True to my word, I held my head up high. Maybe these experience shattered me to pieces over and over again. But I overcame them head-on. Crying became my game. Bitching became my companion.
Soon, I became this bitch with no feelings. I started to play with people’s feeling. To justify my act, I kept telling myself you’re just doing this to find your true love. THE ONE. Gah! Who am I kidding? I ended up hurting them. Hurting myself.
It sickened me to find that I hardly could trust anyone. My paranoia was that maybe I’m hexed. No one was made for me. No one was made to love me. Did GOD forgot to make one for me? Alas! I turned to GOD to help me find THE ONE. So, I kept hoping. And hoping. In between that I hopped from one guy to another. Breaking up was easy for me cause I didn’t stay too long in a relationship to even start one. Hah! Clever, yah?
I know that feeling. Been thru it couple of times. I thought if I broke up with sumone that pain would go away. Never thought the pain was that stubborn. What pain? The pain of comparing. That was my prob, and the only issue that bugged me. I hate it. BUt I live with hope. Hoping that some of these guys might not give up on me that easily. Yeah, sure I left them behind, but will they permit it? Will they still give it a try?
WELL…ONE of them sure did.
I remember one quote: TO LIVE ONLY ONCE…BUT WITH HOPE. I stick to it til now.
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